“In The Middle of Me” – Christmas Edition

“When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.’”                                                      Luke 2:15

            I was talking to my friend Cori the other day.  She works in the human resources department of an investment firm.  Don’t worry, this isn’t a devotional about Christmas investments.  The point is: she is in charge of their Christmas party, except they can’t call it a Christmas party.  It has to be called a holiday party.  A “HOLIDAY” party.  I’ve also been surprised at the number of mainstream Christmas songs I’ve heard on the radio this year; not that I’m against secular music.  I’m definitely not, but I noticed a tilt towards it this year.  And of course, we don’t even need to talk about the malls.  They have turned into altars of our own indulgences.  Santa now owns this holiday.  Presents are the focus.  We seek the immediate fulfillment of our own desires.  We are trying to live the world’s Christmas and placing the name of Christ on top of it.  But Jesus isn’t something we add to the mix.  He’s not the star on the top our Christmas.  We don’t need a baby in white swaddling clothes with a blue sash on top of our tree.  He is not the icing on the cake.  He is the foundation, the core, the ultimate cause of Christmas. 

So, I think we need some more Christ in the middle of Christmas.  Before we sing our songs about whomever is coming right down Santa Claus lane, we should stop and remember that the first Christmas carol was sung by a host of angels the night of Christ’s birth: Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth to men.  Before we open our presents, we should remember that the first Christmas presents weren’t PSPs, Barbies, or giftcards, but were the gold, frankincense and myrrh, brought by the wisemen to honor and celebrate the birth of a King.  Before we decorate our tree, we should remember that the first star was in the sky, shining to guide those seeking the Messiah.  Jesus shouldn’t be something we add to our Christmas.  He should be the reason. 

It seems like Christmas should be the pursuit of the Christ child.  We should put aside all else, like the wisemen and go to where we might best find our God.  We should put aside the demands of work like the shepherds and seek this child, this place where we have been led, this purpose for which we were made.  We should give up our dreams for the season and devote ourselves to His pleasure, like Joseph.  Can we put aside our songs and sing His?  Can we forget our presents and see what we have to give to Him?  Can we build our Christmas experience to assure that we find Him?  Not to add Him to our list, but to devote a season to the celebration of the Christ child?

ISN’T THERE ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?

Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about… Lights please.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

I agree, Linus.  That’s what Christmas is all about.  God, help me live like that this Christmas.

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NEW NAME                           TODD AGNEW

“The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow.  3You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God.  4No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate.  But you will be called Hephzibah and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married.” 

                                                                                    Isaiah 62:2-4

            We’re all given names, whether Caleb or Ashley, Jacob or Kayla.  We inherit names from our parents: Jones, Smith, or Finklestein.  Some of us go by nicknames.  A few even officially change their names.  Later, most of us get names from the kid down the street, a careless parent, a harsh teacher, a classmate.  They might call you Loser, Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Nerd, or many others.  Maybe it’s Unwanted, Not Good Enough, Broken, Worthless; the names no one ever actually says but are scratched on your heart through your life.  Maybe we’re named by our sin and our shame: Addict, Lustful, Liar, or Drunk. They begin to define our lives much more than our real names do. 

            I’m adopted.  A baby given up for adoption has no family, no home, no money, no hope.  And definitely no name.  But a loving couple entered that equation and told me that it didn’t matter what other people thought or said.  It didn’t matter if they thought I had no home and no hope.  My parents had chosen me.  In one moment, I changed from being Unloved to being Loved, from being Unwanted to being Chosen, from being an Inconvenience to being Desired, from having no family to being an Agnew, from having no name to being Todd.  My parents paid a few thousand dollars to give me my name and my home.  God sent His Son to die on a cross for my mistakes so I could be bought.  People may have called you whatever they wanted, but God now calls you Child.  You now bear His name, the name of Christ-ian.  You are no longer Desolate, but you are called Hephzibah.  Now you may think that you would want to change your name if you had that one, but your new name, Hephzibah, means the Lord delights in you.

Check out “New Name at www.myspace.com/toddagnew

Always There                                                                                       Todd Agnew

“And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

                                                                                                Matthew 28:20b

            I am a son.  All men are.  It’s something inherent in who we are.  It’s a pre-requisite of being male.  If you’re a guy, you have to be a son.  Now, admittedly there are a few people who grow up with no parental influence at all, and we grieve for them, but for most of us, our identity is intertwined with this concept of son-ship.  The funny thing is all sons have the same problem.  I know it seems amazing, but it’s true, or to quote Arthur’s Theme: “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.”  All sons have the same problem: every son thinks his dad is stupid.  I don’t know how it works that way, but it’s true.  If you are a son, at one time or another you thought your dad was stupid.  I don’t know why it is but  we turn thirteen and suddenly we know everything, and at that point we realize just how much our dads don’t know.  It’s funny, one year we depend on them for everything; the next, all dads are complete morons.  We don’t come out from under this frame of mind until our mid-twenties, when we, more than likely, realize that they were right all along.  But anyway, back to being a son….

            Jesus told a story about a son with this exact problem.  In Luke 15, He starts, “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’  So he divided his property between them.  Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country, and there squandered his wealth in wild living.”  So this particular son has lived under his father’s roof and rules for his whole life.  He finally realizes his dad is stupid, and decides to chase after the things he knows will fulfill him.  He knows the rules his dad placed on him weren’t for his well-being; they have just kept him from being happy and finding what really meets his needs.  He tells his dad that he would be better off if his dad was dead.  At least then he’d have the funds needed to pursue his dreams. 

            I love that Jesus never told us what the son spent his money on.  That gives each of us the option to insert our own personal thoughts in their place.  Maybe you’re a son who thinks he’ll find his happiness in a girl, whether from an emotional or physical relationship.  Maybe you’re a son who thinks his fulfillment will come with work or money.  Maybe you are a daughter who is searching for beauty, acceptance or popularity.  We all have our own ideas of what we think will fill us, and most often, we seek them outside of our relationship with God.  God has His place in our lives, but we still think that we need something else to be fulfilled: marriage, sex, money, cars, toys, sports, music, friends, etc.  So we walk away from the one who has given us life and sustenance to seek a happiness that we heard about from someone or saw in a movie.  We each choose our own vice on which to spend our wealth.

            But the son found what we all find eventually: joy is not found in the things of this world.  Mortal toys cannot fill a divine hole.  They eventually leave us broken and filthy.  “After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.”  We tend to think that we alone can find the road that will lead to our happiness. Why we continue to think this when only God can see the end of the roads is a mystery?  Why do we continue to run down roads other than His when the end finds us poor, broken, and ashamed?

            The son made a plan to earn his way back home.  “I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’  So he got up and went to his father.”  He wanted to work his way back into the house.  Sound familiar?  It is for me.  I always want to make a deal with God.  “Get me out of this, and I’ll never do such and such again.” Or “Lord, I know I’ve screwed up, but I’d like another chance.  I’ll stop doing this.”  Or a different version: “I’ll do this and such every day from now on.”  All promises we make to earn our way back into the family.  We come back saying “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”  What we missed was that we weren’t worthy in the first place!  He welcomes us home, not as a worker but as a son.  He chooses to make us part of the family, just like He did originally.  And should we fulfill all those promises, well, yes. He wants us to go His way, not to earn our way home, but because it’s what is best for us.  At the end of the day, at the end of the road, at the end of our rope and our sanity, we want to go home. 

“So he got up and went to his father.  But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”  The son is welcomed home not because of what he had done; but because of whom he’s coming home to.  It’s his father. and that’s what fathers do.  They love their sons unconditionally.  No matter where the son turns from or when he turns toward home, his father is running to meet him.  Now I know for some it is difficult to reconcile this with your earthly father.  Earthly fathers are human and fallible. God is more than the perfection of your father; He’s not just filling in the outline of your dad.  He is holy, set apart, other.  He is the ideal your father was modeled after.  But many models are cracked and broken. The end of the story is that no matter what kind of father you’ve had, no matter what road you’ve chosen, no matter what filth you find yourself in; when you turn towards home, there is a Father running to meet you.  Because that’s what father’s do. 

Listen to “Always There” at www.myspace.com/toddagnew

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Where Were You

            One autumn Monday night, years ago, my friends and I were starting a new worship service on the University of North Texas campus, where we all attended.  We were all very overconfident going in, but as we sat down to pray before we started, the enormity of what we were taking on settled in. I was terrified! We had no idea what we were doing. We looked around us and saw a box with Job 38 written on the side.  Now of course, I’m sure this had something to do with its purpose here and had some industrial meaning, but we thought we would take a chance and see if God had a deeper purpose for it. So we flipped open a Bible and found this passage:

            “Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm.  He said: ‘Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?  Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.  Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?  Tell me, if you understand.  Who marked off its dimensions?  Surely you know!  Who stretched a measuring line across it?  On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone – while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?  Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther, here is where your proud waves halt’?  Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?”

            Had enough yet?  Here are a few other favorite highlights.  “What is the way to the abode of light?  And where does darkness reside?” (Job 38:19).  “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle?” (Job 38:22-23).  “Does the rain have a father?” (Job 38:28a).  “Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?” (Job 38:34a).  “Who let the wild donkey go free?” (Job 39:5a).  “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south?” (Job 39:26).

            Who am I to doubt my God?  What He tells me, I can believe without fail. Who am I to question His wisdom and purpose?  I don’t need to understand where this path leads.  I have no need to see the big picture in order to trust Him.  Why do I place my faith in my own vision rather than in His guidance?  Why do I live with all my focus on how this world can fill me when He has offered living water?  Why am I so hell-bent to choose my own way and not follow His?  When did I forget that I am human and He is God?  I am not His equal.  Where has my divine fear gone, or did it ever exist? 

I do not quake in fear of my God because I have focused on stories of His love, but not gazed into His glory.  The mercy of God is not separate from the wrath of God.  We cannot worship one without the other.  In the Bible, every time someone sees an angel, the angel’s first words are “Do not fear.”  Why?  Because people were terrified!  Terrified of beings with no glory of their own; beings who reside in the presence of the Lord in such proximity that they reflect His glory in a more powerful way than we have ever experienced.  If they were that scared of angels, how frightened do you think we would be to see the fullness of the glory and presence of God?  Where there are armies of these angels merely supplying the background music: would we be able to stand, much less respond in our typical American bravado and sarcasm?

We think of ourselves as wise, and yet both Psalms and Proverbs state, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”  I found the love of the Lord to be true in my life, but the fear of the Lord to be absent.  If it were real, many of my doubts would fade.  If it were true, many of my questions would be unnecessary.  If the fear of the Lord were present, my disobedience would be dealt with.  In Luke 6:46, Jesus says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and not do what I say?”  I use the term “Lord,” but rarely am I recognizing Him as the all-powerful Master of all.  When I struggle with obedience, I am obviously considering myself as a valid opponent to God for control of the throne of my life.  Therefore, I must not be looking at God clearly, because He is so far my superior that to even consider an alternative is utter foolishness.  And yet, I scream my questions.  Where do I go from here?  How could You let this happen?  Who do I marry?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  When all the time, I should be declaring with a joyful heart, “You are God, and I am Yours.”

To listen to “WHERE WERE YOU”

check out www.myspace.com/toddagnew